Qurbat

 From a certain perspective, one can say, “The man and the artist are two different beings- the man always smiles when he sees the white clouds. He always smiles when the sun rises. He is most of the time delusional and,  he hopes hopelessly. He switches personalities and faces to please others.  On the other hand, the artist feeds off of darkness, grief and guilt. He submerges into the darkness and tries to find himself in it by following his own screams that are coming from beneath. The artist has an odd obsession with the dark. So, he plunges himself fully into the night to seek solace. He deliberately pushes himself into the darkness and submits to his inner demons and sits face-to-face with them on a bar stool. To check if he is still alive, the artist pokes himself with pointed needles every night and then proceeds to write his art with the blood that spills after he pokes himself a thousand times.  Thousands of pieces will be written and a thousand more will c...

Excerpted from my diary entry -    31/12/2022-    New year, sane me. Signing off 2022 on a good note. Thankful for this year that it killed my younger self and annihilated the remnants of what was left of my past. Hoping that 2023 will also be colorful and will teach new things/experiences. Will be practising giving out credit where it will be due more often. Be it with people around me or myself. Listening will be more from my side in 2023.  15/02/2023-     Disagreement is a vital part of any conversation that takes place between two individuals or more. And, if someone is getting offended by the fact that the receiving party is disagreeing with them. Then the whole point of the conversation becomes null. Though, that's exactly how a conversation goes with an Insta reel liberal, a pseudo-feminist, a pseudo-LGBT+ rights activist or whatever the hellist.

                       Propaganda is everywhere. From being a political term mainly, it has now become a lifestyle for most of us as we are consuming it more than protein and that too with great relish. Be it India or be it Uncle Sam, everybody is using it in a very depressing manner. As Socrates asked  "Whose bias do you seek", everything that we read or hear has a bias about it these days, everyone in this country is trying to influence one to join one's side/cause or the other. But in the end, it's up to us which one we want to swallow and which one we want to spit, what kind of genre we like in lies, and whether are we okay with those who just want to meat ride in this political BDSM, without even knowing what they want and who is who.                   Current India is divided into two groups-one where WhatsApp University and people like  Shweta Singh, and Amish Devgan...

     1.The Attraction Factor-   Narcissists tend to be more alluring and most of the time more agreeable than others when first met. However, the facade abruptly goes into an abyss as the disorder begins to reveal itself. Yes, the exorbitant confidence is attractive, signalling prior success in both money and social aspects and I make no bones about it. 2. Bonding and Narcissism.    People who tend to have a higher risk of developing relationships with a narcissist are often those who reflect low levels of self-esteem and self-worth as far as I've seen. This behavioural inclination can be an attempt to seek a partner who can equal out their low sense of self-worth by overcompensating where they feel inadequate. 3.The Social Plan      The Narcissist will in turn seek out social and sexual partners that tend to have a low sense of self-worth and display a need for their extreme confidence. This allows them to control and be the führer in the re...

Excerpted from my diary entry-             I've noticed in the past few days people have been subjecting me with trivial and groundless fitlh, be it my family or anyone around me, without even knowing a speck of who I am or what is it that I do.As Franz Kafka said, “I never wish to be easily defined ”.              Dimwits don't want to consider certain things and they really wouldn't, because it's out of their dim-wits.Sometimes I feel like they eat cocaine for breakfast, correlating quietness and peace with depression, acting like they care and I abhor it.There's a dichotomy with this-either confront and repay with the same sort or the best one- ‘neglect’ them, there shouldn't be anything in between.                        

        Excerpted from a diary entry -              Soon after getting married, she found out that her husband is a drunkard and that he is no good for her. Sadly, when she used to confront him about it, he would domestically abuse her. Anyway, he was domestically abusing her without any reason also. She went into depression 20 years ago and that too in India, where nobody knew what depression was. She was all alone in this grim world, nobody to talk to, she couldn’t confide in anyone about the pain and agony she was going through.         She had two daughters, but they were very small at the time to fathom all that. Now that they are adults after twenty long years, she unfolded the horrors and mental turmoil she went through and confided in her daughters. Imagine how strong she is, that she kept all the pain locked in her heart and still managed to smile through life. Her life is like a rock, the first substrat...